I always –

You build it too high to say goodbye
Because you’re not the same as them
But your death, it won’t happen to you
It happens to your family and your friends, I pretend

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I can hardly speak
And when I try, it’s nothing but a squeak
On the video, living room for small
If you can’t survive, just try

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And I always wanna die.

Sometimes.

Maybe some other day.

Adios?

It’s been a while since I last updated my blog, and I’m back here for a while because I received some comments on my post regarding my university admission interview. People still need your help meh? Apparently yes, and it wouldn’t hurt to do so.

Anyway, I don’t know if people these days read blogs. There was a surge in visitors traffic for the past few days (mainly because they need my assistance) but it’s a phenomenon that only takes place around this time every year. Blogging used to be a trend among angsty teenagers (as I was then) who felt that they can express themselves better through words rather than communicating face-to-face. Not only that, blogging allows everyone to be storytellers, whether it’s a funny day at school, an argument with friends, or dating stories with boys from the neighbouring school. The “loyal” readers, on the other hand, would be your inquisitive friends, who were always ready to curate topics for gossip sessions in between classes.

Fun fact, my old blog has a stupid domain name. This was the case for everyone else who was on blogspot, I guess. 

Bittersweet as it was, blogging is just not “a thing” anymore. I’m actually surprised that I still have readers, though they’re no longer the same old readers (read: my high school friends) I used to have back in blogspot. I don’t know if I should even be proud as the post on my university interview was actually written four years ago. Its significance is unbelievably still in existence today, despite the possibility that it may be slightly outdated. Also, the post serves as a reminder that I’ve already spent four long years in university and I have 2 months left to graduate. Mixed feelings sinking in.

With me transitioning to the next stage in life soon, I doubt I can continue to upkeep this blog. This year marks the 10th anniversary of my blog, which obviously had remained longer on blogspot before I moved it to WordPress a few years back. For someone who has always found it difficult to talk (though I must say I did improve over the years), blogging played a big role in my life. My blog reminds me of the equally good and bad memories that I had, and because of what I’ve lived through, I am who I am today. I am unsure if I’m ready to say goodbye for now, but all good things will eventually come to an end one day.

I don’t know when, but soon. 

Yours truly,

sparklinghobo a.k.a Jean

p.s.: I spent a lot of time on my old blogspot: https://jeanleejiaying.blogspot.com/, from the layouts to the music. This explains why I didn’t bother to delete it despite the shift.